(After one round of golf in the previous five years, Dave Tindall is trying to break 90 for the first time in over a decade. Follow his journey here).
Trying not to be like Phil Mickelson has taken on rather different connotations in the last few years.
But despite recent controversies, Phil will always hold a special place in my heart.
I was on him ante-post at 33/1 when he won his first Masters in 2004 and I backed him again at 7s when his odds were slashed just prior to that memorbable first victory at Augusta National.
But beyond betting, he’s always been one of the most incredible golfers of my generation to watch, flashing moments of brilliance that have taken the breath away.
Much of that has been short-game magic but trying to instantly replicate it – even via a basic, easy-to-understand Instagram post from the six-time major winner himself – is potential for disaster. Read on to find out.
So, the last seven days have been quite the golfing week for me. I’ve played two rounds which matches my tally from the last five years.
In previous editions of this diary, I’ve tried to rebuild my hugely neglected game in several ways – hitting the range, being given a putting lesson and having a session using a CGQuad that led to revolution in my driving technique.
This is how I put it all into practice. Safe to say, it didn’t go too well.
Disley Golf Club
I’m in the Manchester area ahead of a trip to the theatre so decide to try GolfNow and find a local course.
I stumble on Disley in Cheshire which describes itself as one of the oldest inland courses in the UK having been founded in 1889.
The head pro tells me that back in the early 1900s the Claret Jug contenders would play an event here the week after The Open – with very similar prize money on offer.
It’s a wet but windless autumn day and I have the course virtually to myself as I hit away at at 08.45.
Eight swishes on the opening par 5 is a poor start and that’s with a decent six-foot one-putt.
I always ‘fat’ everything on wet turf and that’s a bit of a theme on the front nine although I settle somewhat and play the final six holes of it in 7-over.
That’s virtually bogey golf and 18-over on this par 71 would see me achieve my goal of breaking 90.
But any thoughts of an 89 or better have already been put under massive pressure by my 8-4-7 start (6-over) and I complete the first nine in 13-over 49.
Despite finding fairways on the back nine, I drop seven shots in the first three holes (6-6-7) so it’s getting away from me.
I rally with a decent stretch of 4-5-4-4 (bogey-bogey-bogey-par) and a pair of bogeys to finish would, I repeat ‘would’, see me round in 96.
A 96 would be six shots better than my comeback round and a nice progression towards the magic sub-90.
The reality is very different. I triple the 17th, my head a bit scrambled by losing my scorecard (key to writing this review!) and having to trudge around for 15 minutes trying to find it. Thankfully, I do.
And then after two good blows at the par-5 18th, I have a 7-iron into the green. I catch it quite well but it leaks to the right and ends buried in a mounded strip to the right of the putting surface.
A potential par or bogey results in a hacking, thrashing, frustrating three-putt quadruple-bogey 9.
Even a 7 would have secured a 99 so this is a miserable way to end an enjoyable morning.
Fairways hit: 6 of 14
Greens in regulation: 2
Putts: 36
Outward 9: 49
Inward 9: 52
Score: 101
The strange thing about my round is that due to the rolling forearms and wrists that I now use with driver, I’m often down the left or way left when my hands flip too fast.
As a career fader/blocker/slicer this is all very novel.
I need to get the timing of this right as it produces longer drives but it’s still a work in progress.
The GIR figure (2) is still terrible but many are near misses.
Putting? I three-jab at 6, 11 and 18 but one-putt three times so balance that out. Taking 36 putts is still a bit high but I don’t make any putt over six feet and generally my speed is okay.
I’ll take this all as very ‘steady’ progress even though I’ve only knocked a single shot off my comeback round of 102.
Baildon Golf Club
Situated high on the moors in West Yorkshire, Baildon has a reputation for being something of a beast due to the often strong winds and thick, high bracken which normally means an automatic reload for anything stray.
In other words, it’s absolutely no place to go if you’re trying to make progress in a project like this.
The writing is on the wall when a couple of staff in the clubhouse shake their heads and warn me of 30mph winds ‘on the tops’. One tells me he’s just been up there and the flags are blowing sideways.
Predictably, the course destroys me.
The scorecard shows that I take 109 swishes and yet, remarkably, I don’t feel too disheartened. Okay, maybe a bit.
The first seven holes are played directly into the face of these 30mph winds and I record figures of 6-6-8-7-7-8. That’s 23-over if you’re asking.
And yet, here’s a thing, I fritter at least seven or eight of these trying to be Phil Mickelson.
In the video here, Mickelson says never have the ball between your feet when chipping. Either play off the front foot or the back foot.
I try both and flub everything. There’s a double hit in there, a shank into a ditch and a series of chunks that go 10 feet forward.
In these winds, I can’t afford any of this and hence bogeys become triples or even worse.
I’m not Phil Mickelson. I can’t even re-enact the most basic of shots he suggests.
Just normal chipping and I’d be round this front nine in 51 so, to be honest in such harsh conditions, I’m not playing too badly.
On the back nine, I flip a few drives into never-to-be-seen-again territory but, wisely, I have a reset and practise some chipping around the ninth green. There’s no-one around so it’s fine.
And, taking Mickelson’s advice to chip off the back foot – and not decelerating like I probably was before – something clicks.
My greenside chip clips the hole and finishes inches away for a par at 10 and I float a little wedge from 80 yards to within two feet at 11 – having already lost a ball from the tee however.
With the wind in my favour – although it’s dropped significantly – I’m 6-over for the first five holes via a par, three bogeys and a three-off-the-tee triple.
I three-putt 16 for a double and then hit some dreadful irons on the two closing par 5s, ending 7-7.
I’m home in 50 which is 14-over. Here’s the breakdown:
Fairways hit: 6 of 14 (same as Disley)
Greens in regulation: 1
Putts: 33 (three better than Disley)
Outward 9: 59
Inward 9: 50
Score: 109
That’s 20 shots too many which, erm, is an awful lot.
But take out the Mickelson nonsense and the brutal winds and we’re probably talking high 90s.
Six one-putts is progress although plenty of the greens at Baildon are small and I’m often putting/chipping from just off them which helps the stats a lot.
The driving is a work in progress but with some cause for optimism.
But my irons have taken a real downward turn. I’m thinning, fatting, blocking – the lot.
That’s the area to work on next.
As is trying not to book a brutal course when it’s blowing at 30mph and attempting to emulate Phil Mickelson live on the course without practising his techniques first.
